If Harry had gotten a less conventional, but more loving adoptive family...



Dear Minerva,

Thank you so much for your kind letter of the 17th. It is always a pleasure to hear from you. I do appreciate your waiving the rules about familiars to allow Wednesday to bring little Homer - she dotes on that spider, and I don’t think she could consider Hogwarts home without his company.

We were delighted but completely unsurprised by the children’s Sorting. Of course Wednesday is a Ravenclaw - she has always had a brilliant mind, and it is rather traditional for the women in our family. Slytherin might have been a possibility, with her cleverness and ambition, but sadly (and quietly, between friends) I must admit the wrong sort have rather taken over that House at the moment. Death Eaters are so vulgar. Gomez, naturally, is over the moon about our little Harry being a fellow Gryffindor - the world does need more dashing, brave, and reckless men. They make life so interesting for the rest of us, don’t you agree? And I am certain he will be safe under your care, after his rather difficult start in life, poor child. That aunt and uncle of his are just too terribly common to protect him adequately - I am grateful Albus saw sense and left him with us rather than her.

I appreciate your bringing to my attention the small difficulty between Harry and Draco - I shall have a word with Narcissa. (Lucius is still being terribly silly about that little peacock incident, and refuses to speak to Gomez at all. Men can be so ridiculously proud. And they really did look so much better in black.) Really, though, Harry was only defending his friend. I probably should warn you that Wednesday writes that she is teaching young Longbottom a few of her more subtle defenses - I sincerely doubt Draco will trouble him in future if he uses those. I assure you, none of them cause permanent damage, only temporary discomfort, and she is well aware that they are only for self-defense, not mere childish aggression. Addamses do not start fights, but we do finish them, and Wednesday has always looked out for her brothers.

At least that little incident allowed you to see Harry’s flying skills in time to recruit him for the Quidditch team. I think he shall be an excellent Seeker - he was always the best at bat-spotting on summer evenings, and then there was the time he “borrowed” Gomez’s broom to rescue Pugsley’s pet octopus Aristotle, who had developed an unaccountable taste for tree-climbing, but had neglected to learn how to climb down. It was a successful rescue, even though he was mildly hampered on his descent by Aristotle clinging to his face in terror, the poor darling.

Please send my apologies to Severus for that unfortunate incident in Potions class. I should have warned him that Wednesday was experimenting with, shall we say, some variant recipes. I am quite certain, however, that Miss Parkinson’s hair will grow back normally, and that the snakes are only a temporary embellishment.

My best regards, and do drop by for tea if you ever happen to be in the neighborhood. Thing has perfected your favorite shortbread recipe - I do believe he has a little crush on you. Or perhaps it is merely that you are the only visitor we have had, outside of family, who is sensible enough to shake hands with him without flinching.

Yours truly,

Morticia Addams

There’s a reason Mia’s dad was killed off in “The Princess Diaries” movies — and it’s because of Dam




If you grew up in the 2000s, chances are you definitely wished your long-lost grandmother would suddenly arrive in town and reveal you were secretly a princess in an adorable little European country called Genovia. The dream. The 2001 film The Princess Diaries and its 2004 sequel had us all wishing we were Mia Thermopolis.

But anyone who has read the brilliant book series by Meg Cabot knows that there are some serious differences between The Princess Diaries book and the films; namely, in the books Mia’s dad is alive and a major character. So why did Disney decide to kill him off for the films? According to Cabot, it was because of Dame Julie Andrews.

The celebrated author recently revealed to Entertainment Weekly that she was surprised when Disney told her they wanted to write out one of her main characters. That is, until she heard why.

“[Mia’s father] plays a big role in the books,” She explained to EW. “I was like, ‘Oh, oh, my God, what did he do [for Disney to kill him off]?’ And they said, ‘Well, we have this actress, who’s a really big actress, that we want to play the grandmother. And we wanna make her role much bigger, and kinda raise the stakes, and give her a lot more lines, and we think we can give her a lotta the dad lines.’ And I was like, ‘Well who’s the actress?’ And they were like, ‘Julie Andrews.’ I was like, ‘Oh my God, kill the dad.’ I was like, it’s Julie Andrews, sure.”

“oh my god kill the dad”